September Clues Radio Special

Updates & comments about the movie that exposed the 9/11 scam

Re: September Clues Radio Special

Postby Maat on November 9th, 2012, 5:08 pm

Great job and beautifully articulated, Hoi, as always! Image
I have to agree with my learned colleagues here on your first version being the more appropriate and effective for a radio presentation.
You can modulate your verbal delivery for best effect so as not to sound too strident anyway.

The second is excellent, of course, but quite technically heavy in details that the intellectually curious would/should be inspired by the 1st version to find on the Clues site themselves.

Just a word change suggestion, in the reference to Simon’s soundtrack, “author of the bumper music”, I would use the word ‘composer’ Image

Image
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Re: September Clues Radio Special

Postby hoi.polloi on November 10th, 2012, 12:34 am

Thanks Maat, (and everyone!)

Composer -- yeah, makes sense.

Come to think of it, Sunday morning is probably more appropriate for the latter piece, and vice versa.

I'm concerned that the reason we prefer the first essay is because we are the converted and we are being 'preached to' as waterwitch suggests.

The sub-clauses thing may have to be toned down, too.

As for boiling it down to the essentials, I am not sure how I can both effectively use my time and offer the crucial information and why the information is there without making the tiny program feel a bit bloated. So if it's like a machine gun, it may just have to be that. It is so easily dismissed unless it comes with a certain strength and "duh"-factor. It should feel like a "oh, I never noticed that before" instead of a "are you crazy you idiots?" (Usually the latter is assumed from the former anyway.)

More rhetorical questions, I may work on too. Perhaps I can make the people who prefer the first essay happier if I can include a bit more of those in a strategic way. On the other hand, there is far, far too much rhetorical questioning in most alternative media.

It comes across as a bit constipated. "Coincidence?!" ... "Why was he there?" ... "Oh, how convenient!" ... and I'd rather make people think instead of judge pointless questions.
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Re: THE "CHATBOX"

Postby fbenario on November 10th, 2012, 3:52 am

waterwitch wrote:Dear Hoi-Polloi,

I think you have tons of good information in your piece, and if you are asking for feedback, here is mine from the point of view of your audience - a busy college student, intelligent but with a short attention span.

1. I prefer the STRUCTURE of 2 because you signpost it by saying " Let's look at four theories about 9/11." That gives me a sense of orientation about what's coming next and means I won't get lost.

2. Maybe it would help me to peg the theories better if you gave them catchy, funny names, like For example: "Theory One. - let's call it Hijackers from Hell."; " Theory 2 - let's call it Big, bad Government."

3. I'd like you to use even more rhetorical questions to give me a chance to think about the questions you raise as you did with the planes ( Weren't they seen?)
For example: Why do the street scenes that day resemble Playstation imagery?
Why don't the amateur films which were released later have traceable sources?

4. I'd like you to use shorter and less complicated sentences with as few sub-clauses as possible. Remember, I'm listening to the information and not reading an article.

5. I think the information comes over with the force of a machine gun. After a while it gets to be too much to process. Maybe just concentrate on three aspects - the fake imagery, the fake victims and the fake media? Perhaps you can hammer away at these three points and hang the relevant information gently onto these "pegs"?

I hope this helps and If you want more feedback, please ask. Professionally, I help prepare non-native English speakers with oral presentations

PS One more thing - the tone. I don't want to be preached to. You don't have to sound too upbeat but sometimes less moral indignance and outrage is more. Ideally, at the end of the talk, I will be feeling enraged myself, but realistically, I first have to feel puzzlement and motivation to dig deeper myself.

I actually agree with all 5 points raised here, and also with the P.S.
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Re: September Clues Radio Special

Postby hoi.polloi on November 11th, 2012, 9:07 am

Yet you completely dismiss and ignore my responses to those very points.
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Re: September Clues Radio Special

Postby fbenario on November 12th, 2012, 2:30 am

hoi.polloi wrote:Yet you completely dismiss and ignore my responses to those very points.

I'm sorry, Hoi, I didn't intend my comment here to be controversial or off-putting to you.

In my brain I certainly wasn't knowingly ignoring or dismissing any of your responses to the post in question, or to any other matter raised in this thread. I was merely trying to indicate [evidently quite poorly] I thought these comments were worthy of your consideration.
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Re: September Clues Radio Special

Postby hoi.polloi on November 13th, 2012, 3:40 am

Thank you for your kind and reassuring words. Ah, well, in any case I have been making the special and I'll see how it goes. I'll let y'all know more when I know more.
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