REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

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Nefilimp
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by Nefilimp »

I was reading the conversation between the longtime members here and I thought, what a coincidence. But then I was like naaah, this is just one of those moments that certain things come together. Let me explain.

It all started with Israel about 24 years ago; illegal settlements? UN? This inquiry lead to WW1, Zionism, the protocols etc. I would tell others I am a truth seeker, yet looking back I was a lie seeker. No issues there, to understand what you want to be, you have to know what you don't want to be. So over the years my knowledge increased, and for that I have to thank the people here; I just love to read the discussions of sharp minds and the new paths of undiscovered knowledge to follow. I browse YouTube, CNN/FOX mostly to read the comments; the articles or videos I don't care for so much. I see it for what it is, a show, I am interested in how the readers think about it. Not always the best thing to do when you want to remain positive but I guess we have all been there.

So I fell in love with my mind, my quest for knowledge, finding lie after lie, discovering many interesting fields of knowledge and making myself a lot more informed on many subjects. I reached a point where I concluded that all the important parts of society we rely upon are completely corrupted in the top. The lower you get, the lesser the corruption until you get to a point that people might lovingly sign a document that causes incredible hardship for a person, thinking the impact will be positive. From there, the realization that I am also part of the problem did not take long. Why am I part of the problem, you ask? Because the whole system is like a cancer, not there to serve humanity and bound to die a very painful death (painful for the ones in it). So if I keep interacting with this system as if I have no knowledge about the evil that it is, what does that say about me. Yes yes, I try to tell people about it but really, is that the best I can do? So I stopped voting, started eating organic, buying second-hand clothes, giving to charity etc etc. Great. But no. It was not enough for me, I wanted OUT. I quickly realized getting out is not very easy but in the end I came a long way.

So there I am, sitting in Uganda trying to create jobs by starting social projects. Hosting Western volunteers to point out that the poverty has not made the people sad, to be more accurate, the locals have so much more joy in life, a joy I have rarely seen in my home country. Their ageing parents are not stowed away when they become 'impractical', no. You take care of them with your siblings. When a guest comes, you share the little you have. And yeah, Uganda, the country where they take the most alcohol per person etc etc. Corruption. Yes. But still. Just living my village life, sorting groundnuts with my neighbours, eating roasted maize with them, talking about what happens in the farm/family etc. No Ukraine, no Freemasonry and so on.

So what happened? The lucky circumstance of my mother already sharing some inheritance about two years ago made me able to get my living costs here to almost zero. That gave me the chance to change my NGO into the form I always wanted it to be; free of charge. Before, volunteers would pay me, so I could cover my expenses of around 200 dollars a month, and now I could finally make it free! They would only pay a host family, no potentially perceived conflict of interest etc. I was so happy! I designed a new website and writing/designing everything was so easy, the words just flowed and man did I love that website. So proud. I prepared the Google Ads campaign and waited, looking at Analytics. The first week; no mails and almost no visitors. Second week, no mails. And so on. So I go back to the website, read everything again, and I just did not get it. So I change it a bit, change the Google Ads campaign a bit and again, I wait. The sad result after almost two years is ZERO applications, while we got about 15 to 30 applications when we were charging money to our volunteers.

After some considerations I realized they might perceive free as low quality, a scheme or a sect or whatever, so I decided to just charge money again. This time, more than before, the website will become more commercial and the money that comes in will just go to social projects. No issues there, money is not dirty. So there I was, trying to redesign everything. Two weeks I thought but nah, the first two weeks were spent on YouTube, CF, relaxing in the garden and I slowly started to disregard my exercise, started eating a bit more than usual, would even feel the urge to drink a beer during the day (I normally go without alcohol for months). Then a friend sends me a message; there is a 10 day Vipassana training course in Entebbe (about two days travel up north from where I stay). I tried meditation before, but I did not like it, my mind quickly convinces me that it is much too nice to ponder and investigate things. So I thought; let's just apply and see what happens. In the meantime I made very slow progress with the website and fortunately for me, my garage needed to be repainted in these weeks because it's the dry season. So every day I would paint and paint, do a little work on the website and continued to slide slowly into a more negative state of mind. I noticed myself doing it, so weird, more annoyed to the people around me, to my dog who is just too eager for attention.

After another week I got the message that I was selected for the course, so with an open mind I go there, not even having Googled Vipassana. And I think it was the best decision I have ever made; this technique is so pure, so honest and so scientific that I quickly realized that this was the missing piece to me. Yes, I had accumulated so much knowledge, even in regard to spirituality, being a good person, observing negative emotions, reacting differently etc. Knowledge knowledge and maybe a tiny speck of wisdom, painfully acquired through years of thinking different, being different, eating different and being seen as different. But during those 10 days, where you wake up at 4 am and meditate up to 10 pm (don't worry, there are breaks :lol: ), where you are not allowed to talk, not allowed to do any work; where you live as a monk just focussing on the technique. During those 10 days the final piece landed, and it is the part whereby I understood the empathy needed to live a fulfilling life. The humility. And very importantly, the work that is involved to project those virtues in the world. I am not sure if I have worded it correctly because I am not a native English speaker, and we are dealing with topics that are difficult to explain. To say it in layman terms; I suddenly understood I was such a selfish person, I have hurt so many people thereby hurting myself again, I have wronged so many people with my behaviour and I got it; I had never really accepted reality as it is. Because yeah, I do think we as a species are pretty fucked. Loved ones will suffer, I will suffer. But instead of warning people, then being disappointed they won't act, feeling hurt and viewing it all as an assault on the ego (subconsciously) I now understand that I never really acted out of love. Not towards me, not towards others. No, I made myself believe I did, but I was not genuine. The intention was there, but a tough childhood followed by numerous setbacks (and good things of course) made me to be the person that I was; having knowledge about how my life (and others!!) needed to be, trying to implement but lacking the wisdom to the how and the why.

Simon, your reaction was exactly the same as mine used to be;

On the contrary perhaps: folks with weak egoes can be harmful both to themselves and others because, as I see it, if you can't love yourself you may also be incapable of spreading love - and confidence - around you.

I found that the ego will only get into the way of finding and giving that real love, but maybe we have a different definition of the ego. I am not saying that you can't be strong, but ego-based strength is based upon fear, anger etc. Very animalistic, the need to survive. I think that the right frame of mind comes from true (self) acceptance and love towards yourself and others, even the ones who have wronged you. No need to survive, you are not in control anyway. As I see it, the key lies in acceptance of all that is and, instead of only teaching and searching; practising what you preach. You have to work within the confines of our world, obviously, but I think only walking that pure path is going to lead to the result we all desire; to live a content and worthwhile life. And yes, even when fake atom bombs are falling around us.

I would like to tell you my experience during those ten days and the science that is a big part of it, but no, I would like you all to experience it. Foreknowledge would spoil part of the ahaaa momemt.

As a small annecdote; when I was about 14 years old my grandfather visited me on the moment of his death. Sitting with a friend I suddenly saw him, standing as a person of light in the corner of the room. I felt nothing but love, no fear. Many years later I understood he planted a little seed. There are things I can't know, can't understand and that is fine. I just have to accept that it is as it is. Now, tomorrow and in the future, no need to worry. I have very little control on life events but full control on how I interpret them and how I interact with the now around me. Do I want to be anxious, angry or any of the other harmful emotions we push ourselves into? Naah. Let me just meditate and improve myself bit by bit, become less of slave to my emotions and be in control.

Thanks people, you have played a very important part in my life. Thanks to you I understood it was not me who was crazy. Now I hope that this story might interest some of you to watch the video about the introduction of Vipassana in Indian prisons.


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkxSyv5R1sg

Again thanks! Love you all (and I fucking mean it!)
simonshack
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by simonshack »

Nefilimp wrote: Wed Aug 10, 2022 11:27 am Simon, your reaction was exactly the same as mine used to be;

On the contrary perhaps: folks with weak egoes can be harmful both to themselves and others because, as I see it, if you can't love yourself you may also be incapable of spreading love - and confidence - around you.

I found that the ego will only get into the way of finding and giving that real love, but maybe we have a different definition of the ego. I am not saying that you can't be strong, but ego-based strength is based upon fear, anger etc. Very animalistic, the need to survive. I think that the right frame of mind comes from true (self) acceptance and love towards yourself and others, even the ones who have wronged you.
Dear Nefilimp,

Firstly, let me thank you for your above, most thoughtful and inspiring writeup. Indeed, curious and inquiring people like us (who are naturally inclined to seek and search for answers and truths) often forget - or spend insufficient time - to search into our own selves.

Now, regarding that line of mine that you quoted (regarding ego), I'd like to somewhat 'refine' and clarify my thoughts. After all, just like yourself, I'm not a native English speaker - so some stuff that I type can be 'lost in translation'. Mind you, the very definition of "ego" is - even by English vocabularies - a rather ambiguous affair...

For instance, here's what we can read at Vocabulary.com (under their "EGO" entry) :

"Your ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your "self." If you say someone has "a big ego," then you are saying he is too full of himself." https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/ego

Yet, in the very next sentence, we may read what follows...

"Poor ego, it gets such a bad rap, being so often confused with "megalomania" and "vanity" and all kinds of other nasty things, but strictly speaking it is only a psychological term popularized by Freud meaning the conscious (as opposed to the unconscious) mind, or the awareness of one's own identity and existence. Nothing wrong in that, is there?"

Vocabulary.com then lists the following 3 definitions of "ego":

1: [noun] an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others
synonyms:egotism, self-importance
type of: pride, pridefulness
a feeling of self-respect and personal worth

2: [noun] your consciousness of your own identity
synonyms:self
types: anima (Jungian psychology) the inner self (not the external persona) that is in touch with the unconscious
type of:consciousness
an alert cognitive state in which you are aware of yourself and your situation

3: [noun] (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind
type of: brain, head, mind, nous, psyche
that which is responsible for one's thoughts and feelings; the seat of the faculty of reason

As I read the three above sentences (that I've highlighted in red type), I frankly cannot see any negative connotation to the word "ego". How about you, dear Nefilimp? The reason why I'm asking you this is because you wrote this line (in response to my post):

"I am not saying that you can't be strong, but ego-based strength is based upon fear, anger etc."

Well, I beg to differ with you as to your above statement: as defined by Vocabulary.com (for what it's worth), the word "ego" has no connection with anger or fear. it only states that : "If you say someone has "a big ego," then you are saying he is too full of himself."

So I should probably retract that line I wrote in my last post the other day, namely this:

"And yes, I probably do 'suffer' from a large (over-sized?) ego but you see, I don't think big egoes are necessarily dysfunctional or harmful to the environment..."

As I see it though, I think that it's an all-too-common & popular misconception to automatically equate a 'big' (or rather, a 'strong') ego with a 'bad / selfish / evil person'. I believe we all need to carefully cultivate, self-analyze, improve and enrich our individual egoes - rather than stifling or suppressing them. Of course, folks 'on ego-steroids' who only pump up and inflate their egoes (much like bodybuilders pump up their muscles) will eventually turn into nasty, raving psychopaths...

Lastly, I really have to disagree with this sentence of yours:

"I think that the right frame of mind comes from true (self) acceptance and love towards yourself and others, even the ones who have wronged you."

See, I can think of a number of individuals who have "wronged me" over the years - even though I had initially given them all of my trust, love and respect. As these individuals proved to be - to put it bluntly - my (dangerous) enemies, I promptly discarded them from my life. Such decisions of mine were not prompted by my ego - but only by my survival instinct. And guess what? Even my two elder brothers are among those evil clowns that I have totally removed from my life.
Nefilimp
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by Nefilimp »

Hi Simon, thanks for the reply!

With any science, we will find they don't agree but push one narrative or push an agenda. Not saying this is the case, but to remove those potential issues, let us skip definitions and just talk about what we feel and (think to) know.

As an example, also I have stopped communicating with my brother after my father died. I come from a family where our (damaged) parents were divorcing during my early teen years, and all the children were damaged by it. We developed behavioural patterns to cope; my brother became more extrovert, controlling and aggressive (mostly to me) and I became more introvert, doubting but also controlling, just differently. Because of the way our society works and how we don't get incentivized to look inside, those behaviours become reinforced, sometimes altered a little over time, but I think the foundation is laid in the younger years. Me being successful in business for instance gave me the pat on the shoulder I thought I needed, but had the side effect of making me a bit more arrogant. Basically, this suit I have made to deal with the outside (and inside) world was proving to be somehow okay in good times, but perfectly fucked up in bad times. Something negative triggers old behaviour, old insecurities and pushes you forward on a path of self-doubt, not enjoying things, and annoyance. But, when becoming an adult with a company to run, it was also important to maintain that outward suit to the people in society. So the tension builds up, builds up, emotions come and stay way too long, causing other problems that trigger new emotions/thoughts/doubts. So you do what society advises, go and talk to a psychologist, and they will perfectly help you in finding out most things you already knew; who wronged you, what it did to you and in the end, how to cope. If you are very unlucky, they will give you a chemical to bypass the problems (which it won't), if you are moderately unlucky, they will just keep you in that victim state and milk you until you realize that the answer to your suffering will not be found there.

What I learned in these 10 days is to understand that everything entering the body through one of my six senses create a reaction in my body, a sensation. This is part human and part programming over the years. Someone says something angry to me; a tingling sensation here, feel of rushing blood there, heart rate increase etc. Then the mind dives into the situation to spin it in any direction it wants. You fight complete battles, just in the mind. You cry, feel victorious, have chopped off one of his arms etc even before you have reacted to the person. Maybe you walk away, fearful of your outwardly reaction, and you continue playing out these pretend battles in your head for the next days, constantly re-emerging in that bath of negative emotions.

The same thing goes for a pleasant sensation, whatever it may be. Someone tells you that you look good, you get a sensation on your body that you define as pleasant. Then again the mind does its thing, reinforcing the old sensation and wandering off to steal your time for meaningless pondering. Craving that same sensation, being disappointed when it does not happen the next time. Or, does she like me? Did she mean it? You check in the mirror for something between your teeth, a piece of snot on your nose. A NEW SENSATION ENTERS THE ARENA... There is fucking kale between my teeth! I am such a dumbass, that is why she winked. Shame.. Why did I even think she would like ME, I am like a balding midget and bla bla so let's ponder that for the next hour/day/week/month.

So the technique is to learn how to observe the sensation with the realization that they come, they go. All the time, no exception. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it is gone in an instant. The first two days you only observe the sensation of breath going into the nose. Only that, two days of around 8 to 10 hours meditating. As a person who never really meditated before, it was very difficult to observe (without internal narration) that tiny area on my body. The mind goes here and then there and before you know it, you spent a few minutes thinking about the garden/house/work/friends whatever. After some time, you notice it gets easier, the mind becomes more focussed, more sharp, and it does not wander so much. You feel the sensation of the breath, but twice as clearly to when you started. The mind becomes quiet and that is a weird sensation for someone who treasures his mind. I still do, maybe even more than before because now I know how to take control and use it (mostly) for what it is intended to do.

#spoiler alert#

I am going to talk about the next steps in these 10 days. If anyone who reads this is thinking about trying Vipassana, you might stop reading now because I think it is better to experience it for yourself. However, it is not that groundbreaking, pretty logical even and, if you have read this post and the previous one, you often visit CF, you probably already know what is coming next. Decide for yourself, please.
^_^

Vipassana
So the first part is basically a breathing exercise; breath naturally and focus on the sensation, observe and focus the mind. The reason why breathing is so important, is because it is something that happens in a way we can control but also in a way that we can't (luckily), thereby making it a combination between conscious and subconscious action. The next 8 days you do the real Vipassana which basically means 'observing'. You partition your body in segments and scan every segment for sensations; itching, pain, goosebumps, the flow of air, the clinging of fabric and whatever you can't put into words. Observe, don't react or label something as pleasant or unpleasant. I quickly realized that the itching sensation I always feel on my forehead does not need to be scratched, it fades after a second or two. Again, you don't label or narrate, but you just observe and then move to a new segment. No sensation? Wait a bit and observe, see what happens.

So over these 8 days I noticed that certain parts of my body that were almost without sensation (like my chest and shoulders) have become full of it. I have learned how to sweep my body for sensations and basically the concept of the teaching is that once you have mastered the art of observing without reacting in your normal ways (let the mind take over and create the all new Hollywood version of the event), you start to release the painful experiences that have led to you reacting in that way to the initial sensation. The important thing is not to avoid any negative or unpleasant sensation, and to not cling to any positive sensation. If that part is true, I don't know and to tell you the truth, I don't care so much. Just being more aware of the fact there is this subtle place in time when you can grab the wheel, where you can observe the mind and basically say 'naaah my friend, this sensation will come, and it will go. Pleasant sensations will follow, and they will go away again, it is fine'.

Then the last step is to realize this painful process is happening in all the people around you, all the time! You realize they are hurting themselves by hurting you, they are in a state of anger/fear/hate/lust/greed or whatever, none of them pleasant to remain in. You want to be in that frame of mind where you are just content, relaxed, and you wish that onto others. Because you know you all share this same fucked up reality, the same issues growing up, the same programming that makes us behave badly thereby creating new problems for ourselves and others in future. So, the last step is to forgive and wish that all the ones who have wronged me and who WILL wrong me may experience the same frame of mind I have experience.

And from there the work starts; you meditate in the morning and in the evening, and life continues. But now with a different understanding, the understanding that I can allow my mind to fantasize away (and I let it of course, I am still an addict) but I now quickly realize the direction it is going. Fear, anger, annoyance but also the craving for attention, love, people applauding me for achieved goals; when it heads in that direction I observe the rest of the body, knowing the sensation will come and go, and I get back to the now. No, this won't happen in a millisecond when you are starting out, but you will be better every time you are aware of it happening.

Coming back to you, Simon, and your brothers. As I said, I have also cut a brother out of my life, but not in a rigorous way. Even before this meditation course, I luckily understood we are all hurt by our upbringing and the way our society works. I see and understand his pain and now, after this course, I understand how those years are still negatively influencing him every day. He is successful in business, but left a trail of physically and mentally abused women and damaged children. Not because he is evil, no, it is because he is damaged, and he does not know how to heal. It is just very sad, and I feel nothing but empathy now. So my door was open to him before I went, but obviously with some simple interaction rules attached to it. Now, after the course, I even project loving feelings towards him, so he might realize what I have realized. Will it work? Who knows. There are things we can't understand, and I don't think we need to be able to. It feels like the right thing to do, so I do it. We are only victims if we let ourselves be victims. We have very little control, so the best thing to do is accept, no anger/fear or hate. Because just as the sensations on the body keep coming and going, the same goes for us. We have been dying since the day we were born, and it is us who decide how to spend that time alive. Full of anger, resentment, constantly reacting to the sensations on the body,running from negative ones, clinging to positive ones or more balanced with understanding and empathy towards yourself and others?

So now I feel I show a more real and pure love to myself by understanding what is happening in this body/mind. I understand the mind, the way it likes to wander, but as with anything powerful, it is important to learn how to control it. I show a more real love towards myself by understanding the misery and damage done to others; their outward reaction is a result of a very painful internal process that is hurting them the most. It is me who allows them to hurt me. I can simply say; this gift of anger will not be accepted and show empathy to the person giving it to me. And no, that does not mean you can't tell someone what you think about the situation. But now you say it with empathy as the driving force, not anger or retaliation. And again no, after ten days you are not so enlightened that you float towards the person on your rainbow (non-LGBTQetc) and the person will look at you with tears in their eyes, ashamed of their behaviour and change on the spot. No, that won't happen, you'll struggle and make mistakes but the basics are there now, a new foundation next to the old one. You have to work on it every day; awareness and dedication are the key to success.
bongostaple
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by bongostaple »

Afternoon all. Very interesting meditation process there. I follow a specifically spiritual (i.e.not an organised 'proper' religion) way of life and what you've described is sounding very familar indeed. If I want to have true happiness in my life, I have to look at myself and recognised that stuff like hating someone has no place in my head. Mainly because I used to pile this shit up and was full of anger, fear, resentment, dishonesty, extreme self-centredness - to the extent that no improvement in my internal condition was ever going to happen whilst this big pile of shit was in the way. For anyone not familiar with Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 Step Program, it exists so that alcoholics can have a head full of calm and peace, not full of selfish shit. When my head became a nice place to be, I no longer wanted to get 'out of my head', which is an apt term in this context.

It took a little while to incorporated it into my daily life, but I learned to recognise the difference between a person and their behaviour. If someone is behaving like a frightful cunt, I have to remember that Happy People Don't Do Fucked Up Shit. I'm no doormat, and sometimes I remove myself from situations - but at the same time I need to think of the person as being in some level of emotional pain. And I have empathy for that because that was my entire life until I was in my late 40s. When I can see a person as being somehow afflicted, I can forgive them. I can clear up my own shit, but beyond that I can't control other people's behaviour so I have to accept what already is. Again, no doormat, no people-pleasing , just a genuine feeling of pity and if the situation is appropriate, helpfulness.

The upshot of this is I don't add anger to the inside of my head - so I'm more useful to others and the clincher being I don't ever feel the need to take a drink. Thinking about the topics discussed here - I have no problem being open-minded and willing to consider alternative points of view to my own. And no surprises, I found this site in about 2011 and was in a good place to read a huge amount of stuff. And a lot of it I already had suspicions about. I think the members of the Nutwork may well think they are doing the right things, for the right reasons, they will always have some cognitive dissonance with them. If deep down inside you know that something you are doing is fucked up, but continue to do it, the best you can hope for is telling yourself it's OK. But it will fuck you up over time.

Note: I'm not including psychopaths in the above paragraph, because whilst most people struggle with dissonance, psychopaths quite clearly do not give a shit about saying or doing whatever it takes to get their own way.

Recruits to the Nutwork may do it for quite some time, but eventually they will be sufficiently disturbed by it that their life is a mess. A psychopath, however, will probably rise to very high levels because they will not have a conscience holding them back.

I can't change any of that stuff but (back on topic) I do have the choice to be peaceful, calm and loving, even toward people I don't like, wherever I am, and whatever is happening - in the Present Moment. And you know what? I don't fuck people over with a deluge of lies and bitterness, and I go to bed at night having done my best that day - even if it apparently isn't good enough for someone judging what I do, it was my best shot, on that day.

I've been having a happy and peaceful life doing the above for over 13 years, in which I have enjoyed life, put my energy into the space around me rather than burning it up inside dwelling on the past, worrying about the future, and paying little or no attention to the Present as a result.

I'm happy. And whilst there can be things in my life I'm not happy about, I refuse to make my own personal happiness dependent on 'fixing' them in some way. It's absolutely OK to be happy with 99% of my day but not happy 1% of it. I'd be cheating myself out of happiness by doing that.

Sorry for the long-winded post, I really don't post here (or any other internet forums) very often .
Nefilimp
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by Nefilimp »

Bongostaple! Thanks for your long-winded post ^_^ This subject deserves so much more attention; a personal reflection on dealing with life and I thank you for sharing it with us.

What I wanted to add is that we might not realize it, but being a 'truthseeker' has repeatedly given us situations in which we can train and reflect on important aspects of a rich and balanced spiritual life. For example;
  • thinking outside of the box and differently compared to the masses makes you realize you don't need to conform to feel content (hopefully). Not in an arrogant 'these stupid sheep' kind of way (even though I understand and have thought along those lines myself); that way of thinking is not very good for us.
  • understanding our toxic reality with regards to nutrition, pharma and so on can alter the way you live and age (more healthy and content I hope)
  • understanding that your loved ones won't heed your advice and will go for boosters even when the evidence is so clear can teach you that you have no control (this goes for our destructive-by-design financial system, our politicians, organised religion and so on) Through that experience you can learn to love others without attachement, without the need for control
  • realizing that I would have never found out if the ones in control did not put all of these very obvious clues/symbols/numerology/'mistakes' and so on in their stories (so in a way I am grateful to them for showing me)
  • realizing I was once much more like the average person unaware of this sheit makes me more humble and empathatic to my brothers and sisters all over the world
punchbunny
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by punchbunny »

(I hope I'm doing this right)
Soooo.... I'm typically quiet by nature and despite lurking, reading, and registering at many forums over the years, this kind of intro isn't typical- but my gut says it's worth my coming out of my "quiet cave"
Despite decades of being obnoxious, I experienced most of my "ah-ha" moments later in life, thus humbling me.... I'm 40, from nowhere, America in the Midwest. I'm a musician and I own and operate a mom and pop guitar shop. I'm constantly trying to pace myself as the world speeds on by, therefore I appreciate "learning and sharing" more than just about anything. As far as contributing, if I'm quiet, its usually either because I'm learning by observing others on a particular subject, or else the responsibility of any awareness weighs heavy and there is always a decision to be made whether or not it's beneficial to others to speak up.
If I talk... It's usually in fits and starts. This is how I work between the ears.
simonshack
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by simonshack »

Hello punchbunny,

I aslo experienced my "a-ha" moments later in life - and I'd guess that most of us did, so you're certainly not alone about that.

Welcome to the forum. :)
Discumbobulate
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by Discumbobulate »

Hi all - after many years with a great interest in most sciences I found my belief in such things shattered when I got the chance to study fulltime at university as a mature student.

First lecture on "The History and Philosophy of Science" revealed that the heliocentric model was introduced to science with no new evidence or observation. Big eye opener - that mainstay of science was put forward on nothing .

That led me to try and justify to myself all that I had learnt in the fields of physics ,earth sciences and astronomy . Everything links back to that imaginary theory brought to bear without any proof . Scientist theorise , engineers correct their mistakes .

I went back to work in engineering, am now retired and live in the UK, and hopefully will get time to post a more detailed account of the goings on behind the prevailing pseudo science.
simonshack
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by simonshack »

Welcome to the forum, Discumbobulate - I'm looking forward to your contributions.
sekito
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 17, 2022 10:25 am

Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by sekito »

Hi all, here’s my introduction:

Location: Hong Kong; Nationality: Chinese
Profession/experience: prior experience as medical copywriter/ghostwriter, then transitioned into a web developer (backend). Studied psychology, law and language/translation.
Religion: spiritual but areligious
Research areas: broad - science (physics, biology, medicine/health etc), history (revisionism and new chronology, wars and religion), socioeconogeopolitics, spirituality and popular conspiracies

I got into the rabbit hole by a stroke of chance when I happened to stumble across IntelToday's Lockerbie series. Things just go on from there: space hoax, 911, anthropogenic climate change, COVID, WWII etc., the more I found the more I realize almost everything that is taught by schools/media/government is a lie, including many science and history 'facts'.
I found out about CluesForum from SeptemberClues, which in turn came across my radar when I was (re)doing research on 911.

In terms of media fakery, I realized more and more of computer generated imagery is presented as reality not just in deep conspiracies(NASA co. being the most egregious, so-called terrorism, and war imagery), but even everyday life, like popular animal video memes, youtube videos of Arctic/Antarctic, natural documentaries (like 'Our Planet'). I have watched so much CGI that I've come to develop a natural intuition by now, and it frustrates me that most people are oblivious to the obvious fakery - some even deny the fakery even after it has been pointed out to them.

I hope to contribute to the forum with some of my own research; there are not many avenues where I can speak my mind openly, so I appreciate any community of free thinkers.
simonshack
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by simonshack »

Welcome 'on board', Sekito!

"...some even deny the fakery even after it has been pointed out to them."

Yes, indeed - but let's keep pointing it out anyway! I feel that our efforts here are, slowly but surely, reaching out to more and more (thoughtful) people. :)
bongostaple
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Joined: Tue Oct 04, 2016 11:53 am

Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by bongostaple »

Nefilimp wrote: Mon Aug 15, 2022 7:39 am
  • realizing I was once much more like the average person unaware of this sheit makes me more humble and empathatic to my brothers and sisters all over the world
+1 on that - I used to be just like a load of people today who put their entire confidence in what claims to be 'science' as being a) true, b) totally superior to any other belief system, and also c) not a belief system anyway because it's 'facts'. I was quite amazingly full of shit, but shit I'd been pumped full of since birth so it's not most people's fault they don't get the perspective to realise that the most enormous amount of total horseshit is sitting in plain sight almost everywhere we are allowed to look. In practice, that's why personal experience at some point is what kickstarts the 'hang on, that sounds like bullshit' level of curiosity required to even consider the Apollo shit on its own, or the 911 shit on it's own. 'Everything' is too big and too scary to take in in one go.

Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

At least not in one sitting anyway.
avdrummerboy
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 2022 7:17 pm

Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by avdrummerboy »

Hello to all, I'm from America (Arizona) and have been "awake" as the saying goes to what's actually going on in the world for a little over 10 years now.

I must somewhat ashamedly confess that I have spent a very good portion of that time doing a lot of reading- and not just "conspiracy theory" websites and blurbs- many new, old and otherwise deep ranging books on the deep state and the history of globalist/ population reduction agenda alive and well in the world today. At that, there is about the extent of my research. I hope to find the ability and courage to follow various leads and questions on topics like 9-11 or Apollo (two of my personal "favorites" to follow.)

I come here hoping to have unabridged and educated conversations about the above topics as well as others.

Hope I can bring something of value to what I've seen here so far as a guest.
patrix
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Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by patrix »

A warm welcome avdrummerboy, and I think many of us have stories like yours. I was "semi awake" myself for many years. Able to see a few problems within medicine but unable to question if global media was a giant propaganda machine that completely fabricates events like 9/11. Thanks to this site and it's contributors I could understand that is the case. And as they say, perspective is everything. Because of this insight I was ready to ask questions like Do rockets create propulsion in space? Does Earth orbit the Sun? Do viruses exist?
kalliste
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Posts: 46
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2022 4:08 am

Re: REQUIRED: Introduce Yourself

Unread post by kalliste »

New guy, initial email:
You can see some stuff I published on the web at
http://dvc.org.uk (legacy)
http://dvc.org.uk/wp - most recent

I am in my sixties, retired, and currently living in the Philippines to update the information you can likely find on my website if you look through it.

If you peruse my website you’ll notice I was quite taken by the Dunblane Massacre at one time. There’s some stuff I’ve learned since I stopped updating that which leads me to believe Hamilton was being handled by MI5. I suspect the Freemason stuff is misdirection. Hamilton had previously tried to infiltrate Siol nan Gaidheal, which I know from being an acquaintance of Tom Moore who founded that organization. Although I’m English I lived in Edinburgh for several decades, I became an acquaintance of Tom Moore in the past few years via meeting him in a gym… he’s an interesting character himself of course!
I'll likely be posting on various topics I've have been tumbling down the conspiracy rabbit hole for most of my adult life. I'm hoping to go still deeper yet. I never thought I'd see the day Bilderberg issues press releases, we have come a long way.
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