simonshack 4 Sep 14 2010, 11:35 PM wrote:
Tell us why you would have zoomed in at the exact moment of the plane's appearance (a "550mph projectile")
- which would have been A VERY SMALL DOT in your lens?
Pfft! Clearly Simon, you're an idiot.
By his very name, Clifton Cloud, one can
immediately recognize his attachment
to angelic winged beasts. These large, gentle and highly intelligent creatures are gifted
with incredible zoom-like-hawk-vision that allows them to pinpoint prey as small as Peter
Chao's willy from great distances - it is rumored that these majestic flying steeds have
identified highway rest areas from as far as 32miles away -
twice the distance of the
detailed and authentic video account of what happened that tragic day
when so many lives were lost.
However, on that morning the winged creature's supernatural vision was not even called
into play.
You see, earlier that morning Clifton shared some of his morning cushy with his soaring
companion, forgetting that it was lactose intolerant. As heroic Clifton suited up for his
daily flight the ingested milk was bloating the beast until it could restrain no longer...
*ffffffffffft* Yes, a
silent but deadly cloud of noxious gas was released...
This cloud, or should I say Cloud, encircled Clifton and drove itself straight into his brain.
Clifton's autoimmune and systemic response was to wince and clench his fists, but on
that fateful day his fists were clutching a video camera and the curling motion
of his fingers pushed the zoom button at just the right moment, capturing forever
in time, the second strike on the towers.
Sure, some may say that it was a miracle and there is alot of merit there; coincidences
like that just don't happen - it was divine intervention, which explains why he was
up there in the first place.
Authentic Amateur Video 1, Simon 0.
(Forgive me if someone else suggested this already in jest, I haven't read the last 3 pages yet. 
)