How to become an Asstronot - and more!

If NASA faked the moon landings, does the agency have any credibility at all? Was the Space Shuttle program also a hoax? Is the International Space Station another one? Do not dismiss these hypotheses offhand. Check out our wider NASA research and make up your own mind about it all.
simonshack
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How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by simonshack » Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:57 pm

*


Ever dreamt of becoming a certified Asstronot?
Of founding your own country's Space Agency?
Of designing and building your own satellite?

And all of this in the timespan of 5-6 years?

You can do it! Please meet (and learn from) ...

Ronnie Nader Bello

Image
http://www.exa.ec/whois.htm

Ronnie Nader Bello, the one-and-only Ecuadorian asstronot has done all the above. He has founded the AGENCIA ESPACIAL ECUATORIANA (EXA) and, with a few buddies, has designed and built the NEE-01 Pegaso satellite - scheduled to be launched in a few months time:


COUNTDOWN COUNTER for Ronnie's satellite launch : http://exa.ec/jquery.countdownGlow/start-pegaso.htm


But first, of course, Ronnie had to graduate in asstronautics. So he went to Russia and graduated there - in 2007. That was the easy part:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmcUA0noTLU

Image

Next, Ronnie decided that his country, Ecuador, needed a Space Agency. So late in that same year (November 2007), he founded it and nominated himself as "Director de la División Operaciones Espaciales" y también "Presidente del Directorado de EXA". This he apparently did with private funding and some help from the Ecuador Air Force with which (quoting the EXA website) Ronnie maintains "a close relationship, not only through their endeavors for the benefit of Ecuador, but also of friendship and mutual respect."


Here's Ronnie and his fellow mobsters buddies proudly posing with their home-made satellite - the PEGASO NEE-01:

Image


There you have it. Anything is possible in this wonderful world. All you need is steady dedication and unflinching willpower. :P

MrSinclair
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by MrSinclair » Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:35 am

And then there is this one. Maybe Zambia will be the first to the moon.


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9Do3dz9TR0

brianv
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by brianv » Sat Aug 25, 2012 10:40 am

simonshack wrote:*Ronnie Nader Bello
There are 100,000 anagrams for that particular letter set, Loner On Breadline, Barrelled Onions, Online Beard Loner, etc etc.

http://wordsmith.org/anagram/advanced.html

bostonterrierowner
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by bostonterrierowner » Sat Aug 25, 2012 1:07 pm

Maybe Ronnie and his buddies are about to smuggle cocaine via Moon to the "developed" World :)

CIA is getting kinda stretched on this matter so maybe some "out of this world" help is needed

Libero
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Libero » Sat Sep 08, 2012 7:41 pm

Here's one from the How to un-become an Asstronot category.. :D

<sigh>

Now that all of these characters are being exposed, it appears finally that we can call out the diaper-wearing, psycho, love-struck :wub: Nasa Asstronot story as a fraud too.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-11 ... ogy-letter

Such a shame... the victim was so convincing :rolleyes:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCvYRqc32v8

simonshack
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by simonshack » Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:06 pm

*

:blink: :blink: :blink: Huh?

Image

Does ABC News have issues with Cluesforum? Why so ? We keep promoting their stuff on a daily basis ! :P :lol:

Libero
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Libero » Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:18 pm

No doubt, Simon. And they probably call the show 20/20 because in hindsight, it all becomes perfectly clear. :lol:

lux
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by lux » Sun Sep 09, 2012 12:44 am

Libero wrote:Here's one from the How to un-become an Asstronot category.. :D

<sigh>

Now that all of these characters are being exposed, it appears finally that we can call out the diaper-wearing, psycho, love-struck :wub: Nasa Asstronot story as a fraud too.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-11 ... ogy-letter

Such a shame... the victim was so convincing :rolleyes:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCvYRqc32v8
Speaking of the Lisa Nowak thing ...

Lisa was involved with the ISS.

(conjecture warning) I wonder if Lisa had threatened to speak out about the ISS hoax prior to her being made to appear insane by NASA & the media?

Mickey
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Mickey » Sun Sep 09, 2012 4:50 pm

I doubt they would let any of these characters ever be a threat. Seems more like she was just taking a role for the team in another concocted fairy tale to keep the asstronot,nasa,iss/space fakery seem real in the public eye.

Libero
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Libero » Sun Sep 09, 2012 7:05 pm

Below is the link to the entire 20/20 online video for those intrigued on seeing how this ridiculous soap opera ends. (Sorry, Simon for the furthering of ABC's agenda)

The 16:30 to 18:24 mark sums up the comic nature of this farce for those not wanting to waste their time watching the whole thing.


http://abc.go.com/watch/2020/SH559026/V ... e-triangle

CTGal1011
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by CTGal1011 » Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:28 pm

And if that doesn't work/and or you live in a country which is apathetic about just about everything, as Canadian Asstronot Marc Garneau will tell you, simply use your dirty connections and run for the Liberal leadership race! If you can't be an astronot, BE A POLITICIAN!

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/pol ... cmpid=rss1


Snip (and precious at that): “Right now, Mr. Harper is a one-trick pony,” Mr. Garneau said. “All he does is focus on natural resources. That’s good, but not good enough.”

One-trick pony? Takes a liar to know a liar, Mr. Garneau.

Vext Lynchpin
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Vext Lynchpin » Sat May 18, 2013 12:37 am

Libero wrote:Here's one from the How to un-become an Asstronot category.. :D

<sigh>

Now that all of these characters are being exposed, it appears finally that we can call out the diaper-wearing, psycho, love-struck :wub: Nasa Asstronot story as a fraud too.

http://articles.nydailynews.com/2009-11 ... ogy-letter

Such a shame... the victim was so convincing :rolleyes:


full link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCvYRqc32v8
Here's a direct link to the video embedded above: http://youtu.be/FCvYRqc32v8

It's interesting to watch Colleen Shipman speak, since she looks like a bad liar.

You can't say for certain whether someone is lying based on just one thing, but if someone is displaying several indications of lying, it's a strong indication that the story is a fabrication.

While describing supposedly remembered events, Shipman's eyes dart constantly to the left (the viewer's left), indicating visual and auditory construction, and twice looks to the bottom right, indicating she's talking to herself. (See Eye Direction and Lying here: http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies_eyes.php) Of course, if she's left-handed, her eye movements would indicate honesty, but I believe she's right handed, since at 1:45 Shipman looks very uncomfortable and nervously scratches her head with her right hand when asked if she knew who her assailant was.

The rest of the video is just typical Hollywood-style B.S. melodrama disguised as a "news story" -- a "media circus," as Sam Gwynne of the Dallas Morning News gleefully calls it at 3:28.

The whole "diaper" angle is just one of those details they threw in as a lodestone so that Jay Leno (4:13) and other talking heads would keep the story in the public sphere for as long as possible.

I call bull$#!t on the whole story.

Vext Lynchpin
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Vext Lynchpin » Sat May 18, 2013 12:53 am

By the way, Lisa Nowak never served time for attempted kidnapping, which is a felony in Florida. According to the New York Daily News, her lawyers arranged a "sweet deal" with prosecutors allowing her to escape jail time for more serious offences. She reportedly received "a year's probation, community service, counseling and court costs."

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nationa ... z2TbI0YkZQ

Here's a page from 1995 with information on typical sentences for attempted kidnapping in Florida, though I'm not clear on what "class" of felony the Nowak case would have fallen under, had she been tried for that felony, and I'm not sure how much has changed for this law since then.
http://www.cga.ct.gov/2004/rpt/2004-R-0272.htm

I pulled out the following two sentences from the above link:

"A class D felony is punishable by a prison term of up to five years, a fine of up to $5,000, or both. A class A misdemeanor is punishable by a prison term of up to one year, a fine of up to $2,000, or both."

"In 1993 (PA 93-148), legislation required a mandatory, minimum three-year sentence for anyone convicted of second-degree kidnapping..."

I think the "slap on the wrist" that Lisa Nowak received is a good indication that everyone involved knew how fake the story was.

Starbucked
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by Starbucked » Wed Jul 10, 2013 11:28 am

How to not become an astronot.

1962 NASA Rejection Letter To A Woman

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http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/nasa ... to-a-woman

HonestlyNow
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Re: How to become an Asstronot - and more!

Unread post by HonestlyNow » Wed Jul 10, 2013 2:25 pm

A woman asstronut? Heck, in those days, my mother wasn't even allowed to walk in the front entrance of the retail chain store where she was employed, even though she wore street clothes and not a uniform, as she worked in the office.

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